By Reagan Cullen
Living in a world where our life practically takes place on our phones, it’s really easy to lose sight of ourselves. While there are many benefits to social media, people often find themselves using it to compare their lives to others. I often find myself absorbed in watching “Day in the life videos” on TikTok, and convincing myself it’s harmless, while subconsciously wishing my days were as proactive and organized as theirs. One day, while locked into TikTok, I had a little wake-up call. Realization hit me that I was allowing jealousy, over something controllable, to consume me. It’s so easy to say you want to work on yourself, but not follow up with the required actions to do so. I took this as my sign to begin a strong relationship with myself, only to discover how much it has impacted my happiness.
I was once taught there are five controllables in your life; your attitude, effort, preparation, priorities, and response. If you take the time to improve these controllables, you will find your mood improving drastically. Our daily lives are unpredictable, and we are constantly having situations thrown in our faces that force us to react. It’s really easy to grow annoyed and complain when unfavorable things happen. However, I decided to make a conscious effort to practice improving each of the five controllables towards a situation, and I noticed myself slowly becoming unbothered. Here are some daily habits you can incorporate into your routine for a happier and clear mind.
You decide your attitude. The number one excuse people use for a cranky attitude is they are not a morning person. I’m not an early bird riser either, but instead of feeling annoyed about having to wake up early for class, I expressed gratitude for getting to experience another day. When rolling through your morning routine, take some time to repeat affirmations to yourself. It is proven that by repeating affirmations, your brain begins to believe what you say, rewiring itself to have a positive mindset. I found that after listening to a ten minute podcast while brushing my teeth in the morning and repeating the affirmations read to me that I was more cheerful and full of energy.
With this newfound energy, I was more excited to tackle the day with productivity. There is nothing worse than looking back and realizing how much time you wasted in your day being lazy or making excuses. I found that putting effort into small tasks inspired me to accomplish more. Simple habits like making your bed in the morning, reading your devotional, and showing up to whatever prior engagement you have for the day with intention tricks your mind to think you have your life together, decreasing stress.
Stress is often caused when something feels out of our control. Preparation helps stem confidence and therefore reduces stress. If you find yourself stressing about an interview, a test, something for your job, meeting someone important, etc. take some time to devise a plan. Walking into a situation feeling prepared, you are more likely to perform well, so take the time to study or practice, and then trust in your preparation.
Another aspect in my life that I focused on was my priorities. It is so easy to stretch yourself thin by trying to do everything and please everyone. I’m a college student, athlete, daughter, sister, friend, and a perfectionist. I get so caught up in making sure everyone loves me and appreciates the work I do that I often exasperate and hurt myself in the process. I had to have a little reality check that I am only human. When I focus on being a people pleaser, I am damaging my self-love and relationships with the people I really care about. I chose to make a list of the people and things I care about the most and make those my priorities, putting myself at the top of the list. When you prioritize your feelings without hurting others, life becomes so much more enjoyable and easier.
The last controllable, but not any less important, is your response. Improving your attitude, effort, preparation, and priorities is great for your mental health, but pointless if you have a negative response. If you negatively respond to a circumstance it will most likely bother you and stress you out more. Practice looking for the positives in a situation. Every mistake or challenge you face also causes you to grow and learn. Focus on the lessons and what you gained, and your outlook on life will be better.
Taking the time to master these controllables isn’t easy, and requires dedication, but the outcome is worth it. I came across a quote by Carl Hiaasen that changed my life, as he wrote, “You live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it’s a good space.” When you take the time to love, heal, and improve yourself, you’ll find other aspects of your life will improve as well. For once prioritize your mental health and self-love, and nourish it with the right habits.
