The promise of the new year brings with it the promise of new beginnings. When the calendar turns over into January, people by the millions begin making their new year’s resolutions, promising to turn the page on bad habits and bring about positive change in one form or another. For many, this involves a change of habit, like going to the gym more or being more conscious of what you eat. For others, this can be personal resolutions to alter their character and be someone fresh and new. Everyone has probably had a resolution at some point in their lives, ranging from the grandiose to the banal.
But what would you think if I told you that these resolutions are a trap that can stymie your ability to change?
It’s a complicated subject, with literature ranging on the pros and cons of setting resolutions. Most resources agree that the main issue with new year’s resolutions are that they never last for long. As it turns out, the new year does not have the magical power to change who we are inside all on its own. In fact, some research exists that suggests that resolutions may actively hamper your ability to make positive changes in your life. For most, this means putting off changes that are vital to your well-being, like healthier eating and exercising more, until “a convenient time on the calendar”.
The truth is, resolutions are not and should not be beholden to a holiday that in the grand scheme of things means little. The arbitrariness of choosing the new year to start making changes denies the importance of having the willpower and the self-discipline to make the changes you want to make. Having the onus to change and the willingness are not drawn from a date on the calendar, but from within your strength of spirit.
The problem with New Year’s resolutions is not just that they are often unrealistic or overly ambitious, but that they often fail to address the underlying causes of the behaviors they seek to change. Rather than embracing the pressure to make dramatic changes at the start of each year, it might be more beneficial to rethink the concept of New Year’s resolutions altogether. Instead of making sweeping promises that may not stick, people can consider alternative approaches to growth and self-improvement that are more sustainable and aligned with their personal values and needs.
One of the key issues with New Year’s resolutions is that they are often made impulsively, based on societal expectations or the influence of others. The idea that a new year automatically signifies a fresh start can put pressure on individuals to create grand goals, even if they haven’t fully considered whether those goals are truly meaningful to them. For instance, many people resolve to lose weight, work out more, or quit smoking without fully understanding why they are choosing these specific goals or how they will achieve them. Often, these resolutions are influenced by external factors, such as media portrayals of success or the belief that they should be striving for certain ideals of health or appearance. However, true self-improvement comes from setting goals that are personal, realistic, and aligned with one’s deeper desires and values.
Instead of creating resolutions out of a sense of obligation or comparison, a more effective approach would be to spend time reflecting on what truly matters. Personal growth is not about adhering to a list of resolutions but about understanding one’s motivations and identifying areas for meaningful change. For example, instead of resolving to lose weight simply because it is a common New Year’s goal, an individual could explore why they want to improve their health and how they can do so in a way that is sustainable and aligns with their lifestyle. The process of introspection and self-awareness is much more powerful than simply trying to meet external expectations.
Another problem with New Year’s resolutions is that they often focus on big, ambitious goals that may feel overwhelming or unrealistic. For example, a person might resolve to read fifty books in a year, exercise every day, or start a new business, only to quickly become discouraged when these goals don’t materialize. The issue with such resolutions is that they fail to account for the inevitable challenges and setbacks that arise over time. Life can be unpredictable, and it’s unrealistic to expect that we will always be able to stick to rigid plans. Goals that are too ambitious or poorly defined can lead to feelings of failure and frustration, causing individuals to abandon their resolutions altogether.
Instead of committing to large, sweeping resolutions, it can be more effective to set smaller, achievable goals that are broken down into manageable steps. This approach allows for greater flexibility and increases the likelihood of success. For example, instead of promising to exercise every single day, a person might set a goal to exercise three times a week and gradually increase the frequency over time. By setting realistic goals and focusing on progress rather than perfection, individuals are more likely to feel a sense of accomplishment and stay motivated in the long term.
Another reason people often abandon their New Year’s resolutions is that they fail to address the underlying habits and mindsets that contribute to their behaviors. Making a resolution to quit smoking or eat healthier is only effective if the individual is willing to address the deeper reasons why they engage in these behaviors in the first place. Simply deciding to change without understanding the root causes of one’s habits is a recipe for short-term success at best. True change comes from cultivating new habits that are deeply ingrained in one’s daily routine and mindset. This requires patience, consistency, and the willingness to break old patterns and replace them with healthier alternatives.
To avoid the trap of making superficial resolutions, it is helpful to shift the focus away from what one wants to change and toward how one wants to feel. Rather than setting specific goals like “I will lose 20 pounds,” a more effective approach might be to ask, “How do I want to feel at the end of this year?” The answer to this question might lead to goals that are centered around self-care, well-being, and long-term health, rather than quick fixes or superficial outcomes. This shift in perspective encourages a more holistic approach to growth, one that recognizes the interconnectedness of mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Moreover, New Year’s resolutions often fail because people are too focused on external validation or quick results, rather than on intrinsic motivation. It’s easy to become discouraged when progress is slow or when others are not aware of the efforts being made. True motivation comes from within and is fueled by a desire for personal fulfillment, not by the approval of others. Instead of setting goals that are based on external rewards or social pressure, it is more productive to identify goals that align with one’s values and that bring a sense of satisfaction, regardless of external recognition.
Another consideration is that the act of setting resolutions often places too much emphasis on the idea of “starting over.” This concept can create a false sense of urgency, where individuals feel that they must wait for the perfect moment to make changes or that they must dramatically overhaul their lives in order to be successful. In reality, personal growth is an ongoing process that doesn’t require a specific start date. Waiting for the new year to make changes can lead to procrastination and a sense of inadequacy when resolutions inevitably fall through. It’s important to recognize that growth is not bound by the calendar. Every day is an opportunity to take small steps toward improvement, and it’s never too late to start working toward one’s goals, regardless of the time of year.
In place of New Year’s resolutions, a more sustainable approach to personal growth involves setting intentions, focusing on small improvements, and cultivating self-awareness. Intentions are more flexible and less rigid than resolutions, allowing individuals to set a general direction for the year without the pressure of meeting a specific outcome. By creating a positive mindset and committing to continuous self-improvement, individuals can avoid the pitfalls of New Year’s resolutions and instead create lasting, meaningful change in their lives.
Rather than making dramatic resolutions that are difficult to sustain, people can focus on adopting gradual, incremental changes that align with their authentic desires and values. Whether it’s developing healthier habits, improving relationships, or pursuing a new passion, the key is to approach personal growth with patience, self-compassion, and an understanding that meaningful change takes time. By letting go of the pressure to make resolutions, individuals can approach the new year with a sense of possibility, without the need for perfection or unrealistic expectations.
